I heard my quick heartbeat...

Black Wednesday
7 March 2007

Morning

While watching entertainment program on RCTI television in my room at Melia Purosani hotel Yogyakarta, I was waiting for my friend, Runi of SMH for breakfast. It was 07.30 am. We planned to cover Downer’s courtesy call with Yogyakarta governor at 09.30 am. Suddenly, the program stopped for breaking news. ”Garuda with Jakarta-Yogyakarta route departing at 06.00 am from Jakarta crashed when landing at Adi Sucipto airport, Yogyakarta. Then followed by fire that burnt the aircraft body”, television anchor reported.

Realizing that Morgan probably flied with Garuda’s first flight, I was trying to contact his mobile but not active. I kept trying to call him many times but failed. I sent him sms, no reply. I was worried about him, but I tried to calm my self and still hoping that Morgan went to Yogyakarta with Stephen of the Australian by Adam Air. I remembered that last night, the secretary of The Australian informed me that she got two Adam Air tickets for her boss and Morgan. But, I also remembered that yesterday evening when I was at the airport, Morgan called and asked me to put his name in the waitlist of Garuda.

Immediately, I together with Runi and Mark of SMH left hotel trying to get more information about the incident. First plact to visit was air force hospital where the victims were brought. On the way to hospital, we kept trying to contact Morgan’s mobile and other friends to know his whereabout. No result yet.

I called Trijoyo, Morgan’s driver and asking where he dropped Morgan at the airport. There are two terminals in Jakarta. Terminal 1 for domestic flight and terminal 2 for international flight and Garuda. ”Terminal 2”, Trijoyo said. ”Are you sure?”. ”Yes definitely”. Oh, God. That meant Morgan took Garuda, not Adam Air. I had to find other information. First person to contact was Emmy of the Australian because there’s possibility that Morgan changed his mind and decided to fly Adam Air with Stephen. Emmy told me that they flied Adam Air and landed in Solo. I was quite relieved to hear it, but not so sure as his mobile phone couldn’t be reached yet. It’s around 08.30 am. The aircraft should have landed and his mobile should have been active or at least my suspended sms had been received. And he could call or reply my sms. This situation made me very bad.

Arriving at air force hospital, we read the list of passengers treated there. We found two Australian people there, but it’s not Morgan Mellish. We immediately moved to other hospital, Sardjito hospital. I paid attention to any victim dropped from ambulance. For couple of hours, I stayed at the hospital to search him, but nothing. My mobile rang. It’s Andrew Burrell, former AFR bureau chief in Jakarta, my old boss. Andrew seemed to believe that Morgan flied Garuda and asked my favor to find him. While I was still doubtful about it before I get confirmation from Stephen who should go with Morgan.

I decided to search Morgan at other hospitals. But I remained unable to find him. I also contacted other local reporters covering victims at other hospitals and asking their favor to inform me if they found passenger named Morgan Mellish.

I kept communicating with Andrew about what I should do to search Morgan. I told him that I might should go to airport to get the latest development from Garuda office at airport. On the way to airport, My mobile rang and name of Morgan Mellish appeared on my mobile screen. ”Hi Morgan, where are you?”. I happily answered the call ”It’s Iroh”. Iroh is Morgan’s maid at lembang, his home. Actually, she’s also worried about Morgan after watching television reporting Garuda crash and called me to get information about him. I was not aware that the phone number was Morgan’s home number, not his mobile phone as I was so exciting to answer it.

Mid day

At the airport, Garuda staff had put the manifest on board. I read it carefully but Morgan’s name was not in the list. I was thinking whether he flied Garuda using other passenger’s name. But I was not sure till getting confirmation. While any information I got from Emmy unclear yet.

On the crash site, I witnessed the fired aircraft that was seriously damaged. It’s totally broken, two engines flung from the body of aircraft, only tail left. It’s very terrible. I couldn’t image how the situation and the passengers’ panic when fire started and killed them. The evacuation was still going on when I arrived there. An official told press that all death victims would be identified at Sardjito hospital.

Suddenly, my mobile rang and it’s Stephen. Finally, he called me. At least, I would get more accurate information from him as he was purposed to fly with Morgan. My suspicion that Morgan flied with Garuda using other passenger’s ticket and name proved. Stephen told that Liz O’neil, Australian embassy spokesperson in Jakarta gave Morgan ticket. It belonged to embassy staff. ”It’s confirmed”, Stephen told. I got panic and informed it to Andrew and told him that I had to back to Sardjito hospital to collect more information.

Just few minutes arriving at Sardjito hospital, Andrew called again. He regretly asked my favor to identify the death bodies that one of them was possibly Morgan. AFR headquarters relied on me to identify Morgan’s body. Although I said yes, I actually felt scary to do it. I had never identified the dead body in seriously bad condition. I never did that before. Even when covering bombing incident, I avoided to see bombing victims at hospital as other reporters did. But now, I had to do it. However, I wanted to ask someone to accompany me, but it’s impossible in this condition. My friends and Morgan’s friends were busy of covering the incident. I understood it. So, I had to strenghten myself to enter morgue. I was the only person he had right now here. His family and AFR were waiting for my update.

In the morgue, I saw six dead bodies lying on the floor. Their bodies were totally burnt. So black like burnt wood. Bad smell filled the morgue. All people in the morgue wore mask, while I wore scarf. They tried to recognize their families or friends. I was one of them trying to recognize Morgan’s body. Tense enveloped us. I was making hard effort to recognize one by one. I had to find bigger body than other death bodies who were Indonesian. That’s what I thought to find him. But I didn’t find him

Someone told me that other dead bodies were already put in forensic room for identification. I went out and moved to the forensic room. Police guarding the room trying to prevent me to get in when he saw my press card. It seemed he didn’t allow me to enter as he thought I was just journalist covering it. ”Only family and relatives allowed to enter”, he told. . ”I am looking for my boss. Please let me in”. I tried to convince him and show my press card that the person I searched was one of Garuda passengers. I was successful.

In the room, there were five bodies lying on bed. When I entered, my eyes directly focused on one big body, number two from left side. Some doctors were observing dead bodies on the right side. So, I had time to identify and observe carefully the big body. My feeling said that that it’s Morgan. I saw the teeth of big body looked like Morgan had. Its face frame and body posture were very similar to him. My suspicion increased. But I was afraid to conclude it. I still kept my feeling alone and not tell others. Anyway, I still hoped miracle happened. I wished he’s still alive.

I reported to Andrew that I could not recognize the dead bodies as all seemed similar. That distinguished one another was the size. But it was also difficult to recognize it. I didn’t know what to do next. I just waited other friends coming and if possible asking them to accompany me to identify dead body again. I though that second opinion would be better for my conclusion or at least strengthened my feeling. Despites scientifical research required to confirm it.

Afternoon

Emmy came. She agreed to help me identifying the suspected Morgan’s body. But we were not allowed to enter anymore as forensic experts were still identifying dead victims.. We begged police to allow us enter, but we couldn’t. While waiting for someting I didn’t know, Emmy and I were waiting there togehter with other victims’ families, journalists, etc One hour later, we approached the door of identification room. Polices were still guarding it.

Shortly, a doctor get out from the room. He brought a paper and at glance I saw Morgan’s name on the paper. There were two names on that. An Indonesian woman who had been confirmed dead and Morgan’s name. It’s really complete name. ’Henry Morgan Saxon Mellish’. Not every one know his long name. Morgan always introduced himself as Morgan Mellish as well as in his article and his business card. And the doctor wrote the name completely and correctly. It arose my suspicion. I heard my quick heartbeat. I wished it’s unreal. Just a dream. But it’s the fact.

”That’s the person I am searching. That is my boss”, I shouted. Again, they seemed distrust. It’s normal perhaps because I am Indonesian while the person I searhed was foreigner. Emmy helped me to convince doctor and police that we really knew him. I showed my press card and introduced again our organization written in my card. We expected to be allowed to enter room to make sure again, but refused. I asked the doctor named dr. Syahrizal many times how he could know Morgan’s identity. ”We found the identity from his wallet kept on his trouser pocket”. I remembered that Morgan always put the wallet there, back pocket. And when I saw the allegedly Morgan body, he still wore his trousers despites torn. ”It’s positively him”, he assured me. ”But we require dental record or medical record to confirm it. Or at least, you can give me his picture with smiling face showing his teeth”. I told the doctor that I would get it and gave to him later”. I immediately reported this bad news to Andrew. It’s very hard to tell bad news although they might have predicted this possibility.

Next step was to get Morgan’s picture. Soon I asked my husband who was at home at that time to send Morgan’s picture saved in my labtop. Unfortunately, It failed many times. I was thinking how I could get his picture if it took long time for my husband to send it. I had to get it and proved the doctor that I knew Morgan. Whoelse? It suddenly crossed my mind. It’s Nila, Morgan’s girlfriend. She must have it. She had called me before asking Morgan. Fortunately, she had it and sent 3 pictures through email.

After printing out some pictures at hotel, I returned to hospital and submitted to doctor. My friend, Olivia of AAP suggested me to give the picture to Australian forensic as well. We tried to find them and finally succeeded to give them Morgan’s picture. At night, Australian Federal Police called and asked me to send email his picture. And I did it. I hoped it would help identificiation process.

Night

It’s hard day for me. Panic, shock, sad, and empty feeling overwhelmed us who knew the fate of Morgan in Yogyakarta. We were very sad.
During late dinner at hotel, Runi and I shared what we experienced today. We still didn’t believe that Morgan had left us forever. For the last three days, we were together. In Semarang covering Downer’s visit to JCLEC in Semarang, at Shangrilla Hotel Jakarta covering meeting on counter terrrorism. Today, we should be also together in Yogyakarta covering the same thing.

His life ended in Yogyakarta on board of Garuda he believed as the safest aircraft in Indonesia. When the aircraft landed fastly, crashed and fired, he might feel it was like surfing in Pelabuhan Ratu, his favorite place for surfing in West Java. Hopefully, he enjoyed it, the adrenaline he felt when doing dangerous sports. .

Good bye Morgan. Rest in peace.

Posted by Retno I Palupi
Assistant to Morgan Mellish in Jakarta

March 10, 2007 5:17 AM